Everyone has something....

                It is the opinion of this writer, that every single person has some sexual side of them that they feel is too taboo for the outside world.  Well, most people.  Some just don’t care about the collective’s opinion, and flaunt their deviant taboos for the world.  A larger portion than the flaunters, but smaller than the collective, flaunts some taboo parts of them to hide the ones that are secret.  Think about it…  Hiding in plain sight is the punk guy with punk hair, that you would never suspect just wants to make sweet love to a beautiful Barbie.  To him, that is his taboo.  It doesn’t matter to him that that is acceptable to the collective.  

                There are signals and signs that happen every day that only a few people “get”.  Those people are on the inside, and shun out the posers.  Two guys on motorcycles pass each other on a country road, and as they cross paths, they extend their arm out towards the center of the road, downward, with a few fingers extended.  People that drive cars don’t notice it until someone points it out.  It’s a friendly show of respect for the motorcycle and the passing rider.  The same goes with a “Jeep Wave”.  

                Others may know these signals, but the ones giving them are the people inside that little group.  Now, with sex, sexual preferences, taboos (the list goes on) there are likewise certain signs.  However you certainly won’t see them displayed out for everyone to see like the motorcyclists. 

                These signals are far more subtle.  They aren’t talked about and there is no secret handshake, but they are there.  I have had friends that were swingers.  I’m not saying I was, of course, just had some friends.  Good friends.  Close personal friends that I know really really well. <cough>  But let’s say, for purely hypothetical reasons, that I was a swinger at one point.  If I were, then I could pass on certain subtle ways that people recognize one of their own.

                A couple wanders through a department store together.  A decent bit away, the husband spots a young lady, alone, searching through the bargain rack, for a red blouse (or blue jeans…).  His wife notices that his attention is elsewhere, so her curiosity turns her head to see what he’s found.  She doesn’t observe the woman with distrust or anything resembling annoyance.  She takes a final glance at the lady, then her husband, and goes on with her browsing.  

                There are several parts of that that I should make clear.  When I say that the young single lady caught his eye, and he nonchalantly checks her out, he didn’t do it in a way to hide his gaze from his wife.  (Most guys do, and most guys are terrible at it.)  That is one of the signs.  Now you can conclude from this that he doesn’t care if his wife sees him, and may assume that he’s an asshole and doesn’t care what his wife thinks.  Far from the case.  You can tell this if you see his wife’s face as she discovers this.  She didn’t look at him with fear or jealousy.  She didn’t look upon the young lady as someone that she needs to compete with.  She simply recognized that his attention was captivated, and accepted it.  

                You may also notice that the couple didn’t attract any attention at all.  I don’t mean just with their voices, or back and forth glances, or nervously turning away…  They looked where they wanted, but not in any way that would draw attention to themselves.  They are seasoned.

                If you are a keen observer, you may notice the fraction of a second where the wife smiled.  Women that don’t have trust in their husband do not smile when they see he’s looking at another woman.  But that is the point…

                I’ve seen this before, and I like it when I do.  I, for example, was about 30 yards away from both the couple and the single lady.  I noticed the young lady because I was also checking her out, when I noticed the couple.  For me, that became more interesting.  I didn’t have to go over, and ask the married couple what they most likely wouldn’t admit anyway, but I saw it.  It’s the trust that a couple has between each other, when both of them understand that no other person-in the world- can threaten their bond.  It really is all about trust.  

                When a couple has that level of trust, so that they both are free to be themselves, then all the other tedious grains of friction melt away.  When they also happen to be the types of people that put their trust and love on a higher plain than any other bonding quality, and are honest enough to admit that they have desires for people that aren’t their partners- that is when a swinging couple is born. 

                Maybe…  of course it may depend on the young guy in the shoe department, and if he’s open to flirting with a married woman.  After all, two can play at this game.