The thing most people don't get about the sex.

I am posting this here, only to serve as a first thought.  I want to re-write and expand this, but for now, it will serve as a canvas where I’ll edit and write from.   So yes, there are lots of random thoughts and grammatical mistakes, but I don’t care for now. I just wanted to pour my thoughts out.  A task that is hard to do, with the….”emotions” talking about this stirs.  =)

          

                I’m sure that when I use this term, there are many people that are trained in psychology and sociology that will tell me I’m using the term incorrectly.  However, no one fitting those qualifications has corrected me, so I’ll keep referring to myself as a "highly functional sexual addict".  Now I’m sure those words have certain connotations, so I shall now explain what I mean.  Also, what I’ll explain has a purpose in the outside world, and I’ll apply it later.

                I’m a highly functional person, in that I’m active in writing, video making, reading, having fun and all the groovy things attributed to being a pleasant extrovert.  There, that was easy enough.  Where that definition expands, is in the sexual addict term.  Now, there are several levels of “insert tab A into slot V” that I can think of, be it fucking or sex or making love.  Regardless of if you are in love with someone you can experience all three.  In or out of love, you can have sex (and there is nothing wrong with that, sometimes you just want a good shag).  You can FUCK (again, nothing wrong, and who doesn’t want to have their naughty bits hammered away on once in a while?).  There is also the one I’ll talk about, and that is making love. 

                Making love for me has a completely different meaning than for most.  Most people think of Barry Manilow on the turner, with rose pedals on the bed or some other horse shit. For me, it’s far less about what you are listening to or what you are laying on than the all encompassing universe of the loving. 

                Many times, it’s better when the lights are off, because what you lose in visual stimulation is made up for with a heightened sense of touch, and I like that.  When I can see a woman’s body, many times I memorize every curve or freckle or crevasse with my eyes, but they stay with me longer when I involuntarily memorize then with my fingertips and lips.  Young cats don’t get that.  I certainly didn’t when I was young.  Music also only has a partial effect, in my opinion, while creating that universe.  I’ve make love and an entire artist’s catalog has played, and I couldn’t tell you who it was.  It wasn’t a part of that universe. 

                What WAS a part of that universe, was that for those hours, every single thing that happened in the universe happened right there between us.  I may know that it is 3 a.m. on a Saturday night, but that fact that is “time” has no place or room to exist in my reality.  The same goes for how much money there is in either my pocket or in the world.  It simply doesn’t exist.  Everything…that…is, is there on;ly because we create it- like galaxies forming stars.  I’m not trying to be aware of the sounds she makes, but I am aware of them as I hop around to all the special areas that I know she fancies: the back of the neck, or slope of that neck, the chest, or where the elbow bends.  The fingertips or small of the back or lower belly and hip bones or the base of the buttocks and back of the knees inner thigh…  the toes.  I’m not mapping them out as places needing to have a check by their location; it’s simply a part of my natural movements. 

                Now, this is important…  Each of the actions performed will have a different desired effect, at different times, and at different times.  Pulling her hair while we are making out will have a different effect as pulling her hair while we’ve been naked and lustily kissing for hours, which will have a different effect if I pull while I’m tasting her, and yet a different effect if I do so while pounding her from behind (or any of the thousand other times that one may pull another’s hair).  What I mean by “at different times, and at different times” is that pulling your lover’s hair while tasting her (which I’m assured by my female friends isn’t commonly done nearly long or often enough for their needs) today and two weeks from now may have completely different effects.  Maybe it’s a certain time of the month, or she was in a terrible mood 2 days ago, or maybe she is mad about work… all of these things can alter the desired effect of that *tug*.  So that tug tonight at the moment when she cums in your mouth, may feel to her completely different then tugging at that same moment weeks from now.  That is when the older men have an advantage, because we have experience in understanding that, and can adapt to it, to help corral all those exploding emotions into a central focal point, and help to get both of us to that place where time doesn’t stop- it simply doesn’t exist.  The outside world doesn’t exist.  The day and time and money and friends and family and troubles and even air slips from your mind, and dissipates like condensation on a cold glass of water.   Things really do fall apart. 

                I do like to listen to the sounds.  The soft or heavy breathing.  The moans, or when her voice cracks.  I like it the most when she breathes in, just as I (for example) roll my tongue over her wetness, and the muscles in her chest seize, and she can’t breathe, and then you hear those small tight quick inhales and then a loooong one as they release their hold on her lungs.  (If you don’t’ know what I’m talking about, then I’m sorry for you.)

                My point, is that all of these things creates a situation that is pure ecstasy, and if done correctly, will last for an amount of time that you will not be able to understand.   

                I’ve been lucky enough to have been with four women in my life that I’ve had these moments with. In fact I was with one ex for a rather long period of time, and never felt like that, and just accepted it.  Not anymore.  I have to have those experiences in my life.  Many times I’ve been on a single date, and brushed her off because I was positive that we’d never connect that way.  Other times, I’ve been out with someone that I was sure that we would connect in that way, but she lost interest.  (One of those rare moments, I was actually attracted to a blondie, believe it or not…)  But I must have those, so I soldier on, looking for my ecstasy. 

                I at least have had the chance to be with those, not like some who are so ice cold or emotionally unavailable or closeted that they will never have a fair chance to feel what I feel.  That is sad.